Lately I`ve struggled a lot with anxiety (angst på norsk). I`ve gone back and forth if I should just blog about it or not, because the subject is so hidden. People don`t talk about anxiety, because that`s a sign of weekness right? I read somewhere that anxiety is not a sign of weekness, but that you`ve tried to stay strong for too long. I don`t know why this sudden change in life is happening, because I`ve never had to deal with anything like anxiety. My life is perfect right now. I have so many good and fun things to look forward too, I have an amazing husband, I`m almost done with a bachelor degree, I have tons of good friends etc. I could list a lot of things that`s good in my life right now. I seriously feel like the luckiest girl. So why this anxiety? That`s a good question. I read that 1 of 3 people go through life with either anxiety, depression or panic, so I´m not surprised. Maybe it`s because a lot of changes has happend in my life lately. I´ve gotten married, I`m almost a nurse, I`m moving to America etc. Or maybe because I now have my practical work with youths that struggle with suicidal thoughts and have some kind of a mental illness. I know a lot of the anxiety is the pressure about my finals and the bachelor degree, but I`ve had to deal with that before without having to deal with these feelings. Or maybe it`s the fear of loosing someone close to me. Grandpa (farmar) died not long ago, and then my other grandpa (morfar) almost died not long after. And I`ve had a lot of people around me hurting in life. Maybe I`ve gotten a bigger fear of something bad happening so suddenly that will change my life completly. I have just always been an easy going person that doesn`t worry to much about things happening. I`ve traveled all around the world without a worry in mind, and now I`m scared of so many (stupid) things. I guess I`m growing up=). I think a lot of youths struggle with today`s pressure from the society. You have to do good, and better than good, and even better than that. I`ts never good enough. School pressure has slowly pushed me further and further down to the ground. In the beginning I was confident, now I feel week.
Like I said, I don`t know why I`m struggling with this anxiety, but I know it`s real, and I`m honest about it. In pictures it looks like everything is perfect right? It usually does. I haven`t figured out how to deal with it yet, but I think there is more people out there struggling with the same thing. Why are we so shy to talk about it? Why is it so awkward to admit what you`re feeling? I don`t believe in a God that takes away everything that`s uncomfortable and hard, but I do believe in a God that can help me through something like this and answer my prayers. I don`t know how, but I`m choosing to believe that I will figure out how to get past these painful feelings that anxiety brings. I`m in a learning process, and I know I will come out of it stronger to help others in life.
